I think sometime soon, I'm going to make a...
(i have quite a few hats)
Leave a number in the askbox. C'mon i've only got...
1. State your name: 2. State the name that your parents almost named you: 3. Which of your relatives do you get along with the most? 4. What was your first job? 5. Which of your relatives do you despise the most? 6. Did anything embarassing happen this week? 7. Do you miss your ex? 8. Do you ever dream about your ex? 9. What is your favorite color of clothing to wear? 10. How do you wear your...
It's amazing how much your tumblr community can...
HELLO NEW FOLLOWERS, I LOVE YOU.
Today I received the most messages ever in my...
i’m so happy i could shit.
adventures of the most useless employee ever
Setting- baron office suite, lightly furnished. smells of lavender wall plugs. noise is little to none, with occasional blasting of female chatter from the other side of the wall Useless Employee sits at a small desk with a laptop, in a very upright rolly chair. sipping occasionally from a wendy’s cup. laptop is running microsoft outlook and google chrome. omegle and tumblr tabs are open. ...
To the ladies in the office next door: a letter of...
Ladies, I am so glad that our office suites share a wall. I love hearing every unnecessary outburst of judgmental advice that you give one another. Not only is your banter full of wisdom and maturity, it’s also just loud enough that my future clients will be enriched each time they meet with me. I’m considering moving all of the furniture closer to the aforementioned wall, as I simply...
WOAH. HOLD UP, PEOPLE. WOAH.
i have achieved a total of 20 followers. shit is intense. for serious, guys. 20. i need both sets of fingers AND toes to count them. they’re going to make a movie about me now. i better be played by zooey deschanel.
someone really needs to pay me for being amusing
i’d be stacked with serious papers, nig. what the fuck is wrong with me?
jeeepers: the thought of you with anyone else in anyway makes me feel physically sick for about 5 minutes until i literally force myself to stop thinking
I am at work. Extremely bored. I adore my job, but since we JUST got set up and my boss is in Houston I’m the only one at the office… and there’s definitely not 8 hours worth of stuff to do.
Someone send me messages
I always respond and I’m wicked awesome
ukeofspook: how to kiss put your mouth on their mouth start screaming into their mouth until you pass out Advice